The greatest accessory of all times

So, today Stella wants to talk to you about the greatest accessory of all times.

The most important one. The one you can’t do without, if you want to pull it all together.

Today I want to talk to you about – Confidence.

Let’s start at the basics. What is Confidence?

The Merriam-webster dictionary defines confidence as “a feeling or consciousness of one’s power or of reliance on ones circumstances”. Other’s describe Confidence in terms of Boldness, Certainty, Conviction or even Courage.

I am guessing each and every one of us has a slightly different definition of confidence. The term is fluid, subjective and is linked to a variety of individual emotions and experiences.

How do you get Confidence?

The age old question of Nurture Vs. Nature applies here as well, if you ask me. Are we born with a ‘confidence-quality’, is it an innate component of our DNA? Or is it something we develop over time, something that is handed down to us, taught by our parents, our surrounding, created and formed by our own individual experiences?

As in most semi-scientific issues, Stella believes it’s a combination of both. We might be born with a seed of ‘confidence-quality’, but this seed needs to be nurtured, watered and fed. It needs great care-taking to grow, I believe. As a former child therapist I have dealt a lot with children who lack confidence, or who’s confidence (or as therapists call it ‘I-strength’) has suffered due to a bad experience. I have always believed that what happens to us as children, what we experience (or don’t experience), forms and moulds us into the adults that we are. This is absolutely NOT to say that you can not overcome bad or painful experiences (or that such experiences necessarily mean you will lack confidence, as an adult). This is to say that children need to be ‘seen’, need to be listened to, need to feel like they matter. We all need to feel like we matter.

To go back to our initial question of how to obtain confidence? Beats me. I never said I had all the answers . But I do believe the secret lies in embracing who we are, loving our strong points and accepting our misgivings.

What can you achieve with Confidence?

I think the appropriate question is what CAN’T you achieve! Confidence in who you are, belief in your qualities in combination with a clear set of goals – and the sky is the limit!  I strongly feel that belief in what you can achieve will lead to success, if you have a clear vision of your goals, a step-for-step plan and the right people to support you in your endeavour {but that’s for another blog ;o) }.

How to wear confidence

The answer to this question is simple – wear it your way.

Confidence will not work if you copy it, imitate it or act in ways that don’t suit you. So the key is to find out what your confidence-key is. Who are you? What are your dreams? What are you good at? What are you not so great at (yet) and want to work on? What makes you happy, excited, motivated? What makes you feel good?

Figure these things out and Stella guarantees – you are on your way to becoming a confident, bold, thriving woman (or man!). A goal-setter and getter!

Why is confidence the greatest accessory of them all?

I believe Confidence is the basis for everything. I think confidence makes anything possible, and makes any outfit work. Want to wear a crazy outfit? Wear it with confidence, and you will shine. Wear it feeling insecure, and you might radiate that insecurity. Want to start a new enterprise, business, or even (any kind of-) relationship? Set your goals, work towards them, believe in what yo do and in your way of doing it – and that passion, that confidence, will shine through.

So, with coffee in one hand, and confidence in the other, I wish you all a fabulous day. Please don’t forget to love yourself, and remember “You are not weird. You are a limited edition!”.

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